Job's Comforters

I'm back to the book of Job. Job is one of my favorite books of the Bible. Not because of it's contents but because of the transparency of the veil between earth and heaven. Job makes me think, Job makes me wonder and Job makes me scratch my head.

First, a little background. Job is considered by many to be one of the oldest, if not the oldest book of scripture. Many scholars believe that Job predates the authorship of Genesis. Others suggest Moshe or Solomon as author. I don't actually care, I love the book.

The opening of the book is of particular importance to me for several reasons. First, G-d calls a man perfect. Second, a form of sacrificial system is in place for the atonement of sins by this time which pre-supposes some form of Divine law to be followed, similar to the conditions surrounding Abraham's story.

Let's peek at the opening phrase:

There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect
and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.

So, G-d calls Job perfect, not once but several times in the text. What a statement! David never got such praise, Moshe never grasped "perfect" although he did attain "friend". This fascinates me and brings us directly and squarely up against, "for all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of G-d." Apparently not Job, at least not yet.

The part that really interests me about this is that Job is obviously a sinful human being just like all of the rest of us. He recognizes this intrinsically when we see him sacrificing for his sons and daughters. He is seeking to make propitiation for their possible sinfulness. These seem to me to be the actions of a man who knows sin and it's consequences. So, what could G-d mean by calling him perfect? I think we are staring Grace right in the eye when we read this passage. I think we are seeing the promise of forgiveness acted out before our very eyes. Clearly Job sinned, and clearly it has been forgiven, not held to his account, he is free from it and it is not a blot on his righteousness before G-d nor a burden to his own soul.

We'll leave the amazing narrative between G-d and the devil for a later post and focus on Job and his calamity for now. So, the bubble breaks, and Job is moved from prosperity to desolation in a mater of moments. I'm interested also in the devices used to decimate Job. We have:

• raiders
• wind
• fire of G-d

I think these are significant in our story and especially so when Job's "comforters" arrive. I'll get into each of these later but for now it's enough just to list them out. While all of this bad news is playing out Job seems to remain calm until the news of his son's deaths. We're looking at a man who has his priorities straight, he doesn't seem to care too much if he's losing stuff but the loss of life grieves him deeply. I don't believe that Job considers the loss of his things as much of a loss at all, he only appears to grieve the loss of his sons. I'm not certain yet if this continues throughout the book, I'll rediscover it as I go.

Now we come to what I believe is Job's finest moment:

Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the
ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and
naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away;
blessed be the name of the LORD.

Job is ready to accept G-d's righteous judgment. Such a statement. We have another grand lesson here. In the midst of all of this Job worshipped G-d. Could I do that? When I want to shake my fist at heaven could I bend and worship?

Job fascinates me and I'm glad to be reading it once again with fresh eyes...

Meditations of my Heart

Ps. 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be
acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

I've been doing some thinking about the use of the word "meditation" in scripture, particularly in the Psalms. I think "meditation" is an important and often under-utilized method of communion with G-d but I also think there is room for a great deception for the people of G-d if they allow themselves to be led astray by the terminology.

Meditation means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. I'll begin with the definition of "meditation" that most people think of when they consider it:

Find a comfortable posture to sit in, one that you can maintain for approximately 30 minutes. Keep the spine straight to allow the spiritual energies to flow freely. Now, relax and allow your mind to resolve or transition away from all that has been going on. As you transition away from this mentally "busy" state you may find that you cease thinking about anything in particular but are aware of many things non-directionally... etc.

I just wrote this definition of meditation from a few sources online and the directions are fairly clear and simple. Apparently the difficulties come in the doing. So, basically we are assuming a relaxed posture, clearing the mind of clutter and entering a state of "nothingness" for about 30 minutes each session. I'm sure that those who meditate in this fashion will take issue with my "clearing the mind" comments since they prefer "non-directed thoughts", so be it.

In this type of mediation we may choose to call upon a "Higher Power" or not, if our beliefs allow. However, this should not change the effectiveness of our meditative state. With this type of meditation we are seeking to commune with our "inner light" and we don't really need a "god" to connect with.

I believe that G-d doesn't particularly approve of this type of meditation. I cant' find a biblical basis for it nor can I find any spiritual benefit in engaging in it for the Christian believer. I also find a strong disconnect between the description of this type of meditation and the usage of the word in scripture. Lets take 2 instances from Psalm 119 for example:

Ps 119:97 O how love I thy law! It is my meditation all
the day.
Ps 119:99 I have more understanding than all my teachers: for
thy testimonies are my meditation.

How can David, or anyone meditate on precepts or laws when his mind would be basically free of directed thoughts? This is just one, small example of the basic premise. In scripture meditation can mean several things: musing, praying, uttering and more but in every case but three (that I can find) they are *active* states and they are directed towards G-d. Even in the exceptions the purpose is still to seek and find the Lord.

Clearly there must be a vast difference between what David is doing and what is called for with these other practices of meditation. I've boiled down biblical meditation to a single definition which is 180 degrees away from this secular forms. My definition of Biblical meditation is this: "Think Strongly Upon". By looking at mediation in this way and using this basic idea as we go through scripture we see a powerful definition that works well in almost every case. Going back to the earlier example from Psalm 119 we find that it works quite well.

Ps 119:97 O how love I thy law! It is my {strong thought} all the day.

Ps 119:99 I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my {strong thought}.

The idea of having "strong thoughts" takes us a long way towards understanding biblical meditation. "Strong" can take many forms. It can mean predominate, powerful, pervasive, foremost, transformative etc. Thinking strongly on G-d's word and His precepts is a wonderful spiritual discipline. To be sure.

There is also no need for special spiritual postures or mantras or anything of the sort. We just devote time and energy to thinking strongly about G-d and His ways. Simple, straight-forward and powerful. G-d doesn't need us trying to peek into His cosmic business and we don't really need to get in touch with our "inner light" I'd rather be in touch with the Light of the world.

I write this because I've been doing a lot of research lately and I've come across several "Listening Prayer" resources that are quite similar to eastern meditation but are being pawned off on unsuspecting Christians as a "hidden biblical principle." True, biblical Listening Prayer has everything to do with this "strong thought" towards G-d and His precepts and nothing at all to do with these eastern practices masquerading as biblical ideas. It doesn't even require you to "sit quietly" although many people prefer it. Listening Prayer requires you to think strongly about G-d and His precepts and simply listening. You can be praying, you can be at work, you can be on the road, it doesn't matter. Let's let the bible tell us when we can think and speak about these things:

Deut 6:6-7
And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You
shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you
sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you
rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as
frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house
and on your gates.

How often do we assume that the remainder of these commandments are for the sake of our children and not for ourselves? The commands shall be in our hearts. As part of that we will teach them to our children. Then, *perhaps* the remainder of these are again directed self-ward and as an *example* to our children through right living. We shall talk about them. That is strong thought and the biblical definition of meditation also includes "utterance" as part of it's definition. We shall bind them on the hand, head and doorpost. External reminders to "seek first the kingdom", calls to retune our minds onto G-d and His precepts.

I believe that the method of meditation is clearly laid out on the examples given in scripture. The final question to be answered then is will I do it? Will I make room for real, biblical meditation in my everyday affairs? I think I can do that! I think it is as simple as recalling G-d's word in my heart and thinking about it while I do what I do and if what I'm doing is not working out with what I'm thinking then it's time to reconfigure one or the other. This puts me at "one" with myself and my situations. I am not double minded but am in fact single minded in my endeavors and they are done unto the Lord.

Psalm 119:111-113
Your testimonies I have taken as a heritage forever, For they are the rejoicing of my heart. I have inclined my heart to perform Your statutes Forever, to the very end. I hate the double-minded, But I love Your law.

Selah!

Hester Panim

I've finished Esther in my attempt to read it with completely fresh eyes. I am continually pulled to the story of Mordechai and especially so here at the end. Haman get's hanged on his own gallows and his estate is given to Esther who gives charge of it to Mordechai and the divine coup is completed.

Mordechai is exaulted now and becomes second only to the king himself. The diaspora gain the right to bear arms against their oppressors and do so. An interesting point is that the do not "lay hands on the spoil" as if to underline that they are only defending their lives and not plundering the kingdom.

Mordechai becomes the second most powerful man in Shushan, second only to the king and in good favor with his brethern and the people. I think Mordechai's true colors show through in these final chapters. He is willing to hold any station and appointment and to do it with unerring loyalty. I think Mordechai would have been just as happy and contented in his beginning situation as he most likely was in the end.

These last statements about Mordechai give a wonderful closure to his sub-story:

For Mordecai the Jew was second to King Ahasuerus, and was great among the Jews
and well received by the multitude of his brethren, seeking the good of his
people and speaking peace to all his countrymen.

He ended well but I think the real power and force behind his story is that he sought "the good of his people" and spoke "peace to all his countrymen" regardless of his station or situation. Mordechai can teach us about steadfastness of purpose regardless of where that purpose takes us. If we are blessed, we will be blessed; if we perish, we perish.

There is a certain, holy resolve in Mordechai's way of doing things that is very appealing and I find it hard to turn away from to read Esther's story.

My conclusions about Mordechai are that he is the kind of "Tough Jew" that G-d so dearly loves. Indeed the name "Isra-el" means to "wrestle with G-d" and in the end it seems to be Israel's tenacity that is both their biggest blessing and biggest stumbling block. G-d loves "tough Jews" the ones that are willing to stick it out 100% and stay with G-d regardless of the outcomes. On the flipside, when they, or we turn tour backs on Him we become stubborn willed and "stiff necked." But, this isn't just Israel, it's just an illustration for all of us, a picture of human nature.

I think the highlight of Mordechai's sub story is that he didn't appear to care what happened to him, whether his actions (or Esther's) brough death, persecution, prison or further wrath. He was simply doing what was right. Mordechai sets a fine example of how to "get things done" on a large scale in a very godly manner. I think Mordechai's formula is simple and powerful: pray, wait, act, repeat. Mordechai starts with prayer. The text doesn't say so explicitly but we find that he has clearly been in communion with G-d over this when he says that Esther can choose otherwise. Mordechai has prayed and continues to do so apparently. Mordechai watches and waits expectantly for opportunities. I believe it is his faith that allows him to see the opportunities for what they are. The coup against the king is a perfect example. Mordechai acts with righteousness in the midst of the situation. he chooses actions in response to his opportunities that are in line with his faith.

It's a simple formula but one based on actions springing from faith. I didn't think this was going to be a long post today but I guess I was wrong. My final questions to myself at the end of Esther were two fold. First, what if Esther had chosen differently? Would Mordechai have come to the same triumph? Second, am I willing to submit to such a simple and watchful plan in my own life? Pray, watch, act. Simple and profound.

It is also interesting that G-d's name never appears overtly in the text of Esther. The Jews call it "Hester Panim"which is the "hidden face of G-d." G-d is so obviosly in control of the events and the situations that it is almost as if I read Him into the text on my own. The name of G-d is peculiarly absent, but, His presence is felt in the text even sometimes more keenly because He is not a stated player.

I think that there is a tremendous mirroring of purpose found in this fact. Mordechai was content to do all that he was able in a position of anonymity but in the end he received honor and glory for his actions. So too with G-d in Esther's story. G-d is the true cause of victory and celebration and yet He is not named nor is He given the glory that is due to Him within the text. Instead G-d received the greater glory and the greater honor by preparing his people to return to Jerusalem to worship Him (via King Darius). In G-d's own subtle way I think G-d and Mordechai are really on the same page and using the same approach. This further underlines my conclusions about Mordechai and his understanding of G-d's plan for Esther and for Israel.

Whew!

Happy Thankgiving

Today I've nothing to say of my own accord. I only want to share with you one scripture, taken from "The Message". Enjoy your holiday, enjoy your families and Praise the Lord!

Psalm 100:
On your feet now - applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourselves into his presence. Know this: God is God, and God, God. He made us; we didn't make him. We're his people, his well-tended sheep. Enter with the password: "Thank you!" Make yourselves at home, talking praise. Thank him. Worship him. For God is sheer beauty, all-generous in love, loyal always and ever.

Yadah!

Magnalia Dei & Mordechai

Today I was quite simply inspired by another blog. The phrase magnalia Dei would be translated as the "Wonders of G-d" which is so appropriate for this season of thanks. I particularly appreciated the following segment:

...The prayer of gratitude, the prayer of thanksgiving requires time simply to be
attentive to what is going on around us. When we are inwardly distracted
through busyness, or preoccupations with the daily challenges of parenting,
earning enough money to pay the mortgage, managing the multiple relationships we
have with people who depend on our good performance, it can be increasingly
difficult to be attentive to the gifts that arrive each day.

Being grateful and being thankful do go hand in hand. I'm preparing for a wonderful day tomorrow with family as we gather together and give thanks for all that has been given to us. I'm looking forward to tomorrow and I'm doing the turkey (no stress). I tip my hat to Rick Lord for his insightful post and wanted to share it with all of you today.

I've also been winding my way through the book of Esther. She intrigues me. But, more than Esther I seem to be being pulled into Mordechai's world. I've just finished chapter 7 where Haman get's what's coming to him but my thoughts are more for Mordechai while this scene played out for me.

What was Mordechai up to during all of this? First he sends is adoptive daughter to the king and is very brazen and bold in his vigilance over her even while under the king's care. He doesn't care who sees him checking in. Then, she is selected by the king and Mordechai moves from relative obscurity into the King's gates. Mordechai saves the king from scandal and is not repaid but does not complain. Then Haman tries to get Mordechai to bow before him and his anger causes him to try and expunge the Jews from the earth.

This seems like an over-reaction on Haman's part. I mean one Jew doesn't bow and we're going to destroy an entire race of people? Something here isn't quite clear yet. Then Mordechai doesn't back down for a second but in the same brash and public way he has always done he pleads the cause of the Jews publicly with sack cloth and ashes and loud cries in the streets.

What does Mordechai hope to accomplish by all of this? His weeping and wailing is certainly not unique in Shushan and scripture does not attribute any benefit to Mordechai's display of desolation other than to get Esther's attention. The story would then seem to hinge upon Esther and her choice but I'm not quite through with Mordechai.

I think I have found the reason for Mordechai's persistence. The clue comes from this portion of the text:

Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, Think not with thyself that thou shalt
escape in the king's house, more than all the Jews. For if thou
altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement
and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's
house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom
for such a time as this?

Mordechai appears to have been following an undisclosed plan all along with Esther. Here we see the basic structure of his belief in her if she will follow through. What we have revealed here is a man of deep faith. On the surface it would appear that Mordechai is really working all the angles. He's got his adopted daughter in the palace, she's queen and he can get accomplished whatever he wishes so long as he remains anonymous. But, this isn't Mordechai's plan at all.

I think Mordechai is exhibiting some true and great obedience to G-d in each step of his journey with Esther. If I put myself in Mordechai's shoes I would be thinking something like this. Well, Esther is beautiful and faithful. If the Lord has plans for her then perhaps she will be selected by the King's company. When she is selected he checks on her once again probably thinking "if the Lord has plans for her she will be esteemed by the king." When she is made queen I can imagine Mordechai thinking "If the Lord has plans for her perhaps she will choose her people over the value of her own life" and so on.

There seems to be a rich foundation of prayer that Mordechai has wrought for Esther's mission in the deliverance of Israel. He's never a front line player but later on Esther gives us a glimpse into what is quite possibly a familiar pattern from her past:

"gather together all the Jews that are present in Shushan, and fast ye for me,
and neither eat nor drink three days, night or day: I also and my maidens will
fast likewise; and so will I go in unto the king, which is not according to the
law: and if I perish, I perish."

Esther immediately takes on what appears to be a familiar strategy to her. Is she reflecting back for us some portion of the upbringing she received from Mordechai? Is she showing us how Mordechai taught her to bring her supplications before G-d? I think so. When people are in stress they run to what is familiar and comfortable for them. I think Esther is no different. When we hear Esther saying, "if I perish, I perish" I think we are hearing something that was probably a familiar phrase in Mordechai's house.

What I find also interesting is the tension between Haman and Mordechai. Mordechai is such a background player in this entire story, and yet, he is exalted by the king, he is spared death on the gallows and he is honored for his good word to King Ahasuerus. It seems to me that G-d is taking care of Mordechai just as much as G-d and Mordechai are taking care of Esther.

There never seems to be a direct confrontation between Haman and Mordechai recorded other than that he would not bow. I can't imagine that this was a single instance however. All of this tension between Mordechai and Haman is happening in the background of Esther's plea for Israel. At the end of all this I can only conclude that Mordechai was a man of tremendous faith who raised an exceptional daughter and supported her in every endeavors with prayer and supplication before G-D.

While I meditate on this I find myself asking whether I'm willing to be like Mordecahi. To simply sit in the wings and pray, leaving the details, the revenge, the paybacks, the outcomes and the blessings in G-d's hands. One of the most interesting features about Mordechai's sub-plot within Esther is that we never see him run off to pray or make any sort of recorded effort at public righteousness other than not bowing to Haman. But, I can almost hear him in the background of the text, supporting Esther in prayer, gathering the diaspora to fast and pray and waiting expectantly for G-d's outcome for the situation.

The question that haunts me just a little comes from Mordechai's statement to Esther:

For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there
enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and
thy father's house shall be destroyed.

Is Mordechai prophesying to Esther here? I wonder what "other place" Mordechai could mean. For me it just underscores Mordechai's habits of prayer and support for Esther and apparently for Israel as well. Although it does not say so in the text I imagine that Mordechai was a man of some influence within the Jewish community at Shushan and yet he makes himself of little account to the king and just goes about his business. He sets quite an example for all of us that find ourselves in difficult situations and places that hold little, intrinsic power.

Perhaps we have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

Thanksgiving

I've been trying to write this post now for nearly 3 days. I keep running into some reason not to finish it every time I start. I have to ask myself why giving thanks is so difficult for us. Why do we need a holiday to ritualize what would otherwise be called a spiritual discipline? Why do we need to se aside a single day out of the year to count our blessings? And why is the day after thanksgiving a day that the majority of Americans go out and plunge themselves into consumer debt?

I think giving thanks is often more difficult than it appears at first glance. Sure, I can say that I'm thankful for my health, my beautiful wife, a loving and supportive family etc. Which of course I am truly and deeply thankful. Is this what G-d wants from me though? Does He want my laundry list and a "thank you"each year at Thanksgiving?

I think giving thanks is more difficult than it appears because to truly give thanks we have to be willing to engage in the spiritual discipline of giving thanks. That might mean giving thanks daily even when I don't necessarily want to. That might mean giving thanks for something that I'm not thankful for but that I know is the best choice for me. That might mean giving thanks for G-d's ever present hand in our daily lives.

I think that the spiritual discipline of thanksgiving is both difficult and very important in my daily life. I think it has a tremendous power to transform my attitude towards others and towards my world if I'll let it.

For me, each Thanksgiving holiday brings with it that bitter-sweet taste of trial and victory for the past year. Life is like that, no one escapes the challenges that life provides but we overcome them in our own unique ways. That is one of the things that makes us each so special in G-d's sight, the way we triumph over our difficulties.

So, why do we need a holiday? We don't. The holiday for me is a convenient mechanism to "check in" on myself and see how I'm progressing in my own spiritual discipline of giving thanks. It prepares and focuses me in for another year of seeing G-d's greatness in the tiniest of details. It allows me to "take stock" of the past year and see what I missed. It provides an opportunity to look across the table and see the gloriously crazy and wonderful people that G-d has assembled in my life and to simply give thanks for their complete uniqueness in the universe.

Most of all, Thanksgiving allows me to see that G-d has a rich and wonderful sense of humor. I am loved by a G-d who laughs... Don't believe me? This thanksgiving, in the midst of the festivities look at the person next to you and try and see them through G-d's eyes. See them as the little children they are before an infinite G-d. See them as the wonderfully cleansed and blessed creatures they are in Christ and see if you don't feel a little giggle coming on when you compare that vision to that person you know burned all the hair off of your barbie dolls...

That single vision and instance of G-d's sense of humor can change our perception of giving thanks forever. G-d doesn't need a somber recitation of all of the wonderful things that He has allowed us ownership and stewardship of. He knows already, and it was His good pleasure to give them. This year try and give thanks in fun, small ways. In a childlike manner. Thank G-d for the crisp and fresh fall air when it freezes your nose and you can see your breath in the morning. Thank G-d for the beautiful spouse that brings you so much love when you catch a glimpse of them doing something for themselves. Give thanks for the beautiful curiosity that pulses through our souls the next time you notice something out of the ordinary. By giving thanks in this way you can begin the discipline of thanksgiving in your daily life.

What about "Black Friday"? Why is Thanksgiving flanked by the biggest spending day of the year? It's such an important day for retailers than many of them hinge their annual reports on this single day of profits! Why do we spend so fitfully on the day after our day of thanks? Is it the turkey coma that sends us over the edge? My personal take on "Black Friday" is that our spending spree is a volatile slurry of good feelings and guilt all piled together.

Good feelings because we've just eaten ourselves into oblivion and spent time with family and friends. We're feeling fairly happy. Guilt because we could have done more, we have so much, we could always be more thankful for the loved ones that we have. I should have sent them a nicer gift. Why don't we spend more time with them? Why do I dread seeing them every year? Now, who exactly is uncle Marty and how is he related? The list goes on and on. We feel guilty because our re-connections highlight our disconnections throughout the year. To make ourselves feel better about this discrepancy we spend. That's my armchair psychological theory in a nutshell.

What I can take away from all of this is that being grateful and staying connected can have several benefits, the least of which is monetary and the greatest of which is being allowed to see G-d's wonderful hand in the lives of those around me. If I can give thanks each day then Thanksgiving is merely a time to reflect on G-d's goodness and eat myself into a triptophan haze. This isn't an altogether bad plan of action.

Today I want to give thanks. Today I want to say "Thank you" and each day I will choose to do once again.

Thanks.

Nehemiah's End

So I'm done with Nehemiah for now. What an interesting fellow. I've taken away something new from this fresh reading of his book. I have most certainly been challenged by his charge over Israel and his simple formula of progressive obedience Understand, Obey & Rejoice.

What stood out to me once again towards the end of the book was Nehemiah's constant calling of G-d to remembrance. This strikes me particularly since there seems to be such a high concentration of this. The only other author that I am aware of that uses this particular approach is David and Nehemiah's frequency, in comparison to the length of his writing is much higher. Here are a few examples from Nehemiah:

13:14 Remember me, O my God, concerning this, and wipe not out my good
deeds that I have done for the house of my God, and for the offices
thereof.

13:22 And I commanded the Levites that they should cleanse themselves,
and that they should come and keep the gates, to sanctify the sabbath day.
Remember me, O my God, concerning this also, and spare me according to the
greatness of thy mercy.

13:31 And for the wood offering, at times appointed, and for the
firstfruits. Remember me, O my God, for good.

We basically have Nehemiah pleading with G-d to remember his good deeds, his external righteousness towards Israel and towards Torah. He also uses this same approach as a curse in a few instances which is basically, "Remember them for their sins." What could Nehemiah be so fearful of? Why does he so greatly fear the wrath of G-d upon him? It is as if he holds these great works up as some sort of feeble attempt at doing right by YHWH. He seems so fearful of judgment and yet so bold towards men.

I have a theory however and the answer comes from the beginning of Nehemiah. "For I was the king's cupbearer." Nehemiah was a servant of Artaxerxes within the palace of Shushan. His service occurred while his brethren languished in oppressive captivity. I believe that Nehemiah felt like a "sell out." I think he felt, as many great men have felt that he should have been languishing with his brethren rather than living in a palace being the kings cupbearer. Not only was he in the palace of Shushan he was a highly trusted servant and one of great standing, especially since he clearly had the kings ear quite directly.

I think Nehemiah's continual offering of his deeds before G-d were based in shame for his place of privilege. He was clearly too close to his mission to see, as Daniel and David, that his placement was no accident and that he would be a deliverer of Israel. I think he felt the weight of his guilt continually, the burden for his brothers and for Jerusalem itself.

He was indeed a deliverer of Israel and in a very modern sense. He was not followed by signs and wonders, pillars of fire or parted seas. He simply prayed and watched for opportunity. His simple strategy of asking, waiting and watching in conjunction with truly leaving the outcome in G-d's hands is a powerful picture for the modern believer.

Nehemiah is actually a tremendous model for many modern Christians and Jews who might feel that what they do for a "living" might be in conflict with their faith. Nehemiah was serving the enemy and doing it well enough to be the King's cupbearer. I wonder how much greater Nehemiah's work could have been had he not been constantly stooped by his guilt. I also wonder if it was his guilty conscious that made him perfect for the job at hand.

G-d is funny that way. So often He will make us most perfectly suited to the very thing that we personally feel the least prepared to handle... I've seen it many times in my own life.

Nehemiah also uses this approach as a curse. I think this draws into particularly sharp focus Hehemiah's consciousness of G-d's perfect judgement. It's Nehemiah's was of saying "Revenge is mine saith the Lord." Nehemiah simply says, "Their fate is in You hands G-d, not mine." I think Nehemiah cleanes and frees himself from much of his own personal anger over the disobediance of others in this way. Towards the end of the book we find him again, in a slightly more aggressive state somewhat forshadowing Jesus' encounter with the money changers in the temple. he runs them "out of town" as it were and quite literally lets the door hit them on the way out.

I finished Nehemiah with a certain satisfaction, a certain fullness in my spirit that tells me that I've glimpsed at a man for all times. I find myself asking whether I can follow his simple and powerful example in my own life.

"Remember me O G-d for good"